優秀作文賞析點評之(一)

【習作要求】

請以Good Health為題寫一篇文章。

【參考范文】

Good Health

The desire for good health is universal. Especially nowadays, the possession of good health is regarded by nearly everyone as essential to a happy life as well as a successful one. Only in good shape can you expect to live comfortably or work effectively.

How to keep healthy, then? First, enough time should be set aside for persevering in exercises in addition to sleep and rest. Second you must give up the habits that damage your health, such as smoking and drinking too much alcohol. Finally, be sure to have your physical check-up regularly.

As for me, I have always been taking care to have proper sleep and relaxation. In my spare time I like running, swimming, and playing table tennis. So, I can keep fit and have a good life.

【名師點評】

本文層次清楚，邏輯分明，第一段講好身體的重要性，第二段講保持身體健康的種種方法，第三段講就“我”而言，“我”如何加強體育鍛煉。本文語言地道，亮點頗多，如：First… second… Finally…三個詞分述三種方法;The desire for, …is universal, Especially nowadays, the possession of, is regarded by nearly everyone as…, Only… can we expect to….How to…then? As for me, I have always been taking care to… so, I can…等，這些短語的運用使得文章錯落有致，多姿多彩。

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